Random and Quirky at its finest

Since I’m new to this “writing for other people to read” thing, I think I need to slowly ease you, sweet little reader, into the mind of ME. You know, get more acquainted.

It’s like dating. Showing tiny little glimpses of quirkiness before unleashing the bat $hit craziness.

I thought I’d do a little randomness tonight…some facts about me. I fully realize that the majority of these will either make me look:
A. Legitimately Insane
B. Judgmental
C. Like an a$$hole
D. All of the above

I have a hunch this might become a regular feature. Maybe even a no-holds-barred periodic Q&A. You send me your questions, and once I get enough, I’ll post honest answers. Yes…I think I like that.

Here they are: lastmandyrandoms. Take #1.

1. I have an honest to God fear of midgets/little people/dwarfs, etc. I don’t know exactly why, but it’s very legit and very much real. My 3rd grade teacher was a midget, and was mean as hell. Maybe that’s it. I honestly don’t know. Two ironic twists here:

• My favorite movie of all time is Wizard of Oz, and…
• I’m 3 inches shorter now than I was 15 years ago. I’m shrinking. Dead serious. How’s THAT for karma?

2. I like the smell of skunk. I don’t want to bottle it and dab it behind my ears, but I don’t find it the least bit offensive, and in fact, might even take a big sniff in when I pass one on the road.

3. I separate M&Ms by color before eating them, and I have to eat the odd ones first. (ie. 3 red ones, 4 greens, 6 yellows = I have to eat one red to make it even)

4. When I was 16, I once pretended that the car I was driving (a 1989 Ford Escort) was a stick shift, because I wanted to look super cool driving past the swarm of dudes congregated in the parking lot I was driving past. And this was the best I could come up with. I’m a moron.

5. Never been kissed under the mistletoe. Or in the rain.

6. It is physiologically impossible for a burp to come from my body. Can’t do it.

7. I don’t dance in public. I CAN dance, I just choose not to…just too self conscious.

8. I think drinking RedBull is the closest I will ever come to knowing what Satan’s piss might taste like. It’s disgusting. I can just smell it and have that smell stuck in my nose for 3 days. Pure evil.

9. I like to put a dab of peanut butter in my spaghetti. But only at home. The face you’re making right now is the main reason for that.

10. I smell everything. EVERYTHING. When I give my kids a kiss on the forehead, cheek, etc., I always smell them as I kiss them. It’s just natural for me. What ISN’T natural, is smelling a co-worker’s wrist to smell her new perfume, and absentmindedly kissing her wrist.

That oughtta do it for now.

Big weekend plans in the works (for a change). Should be interesting. Perhaps some new material? Hmm… we’ll see.